What it’s like to be a young mother?

I always thought of what it’s like to be a mother? Like, is it really that difficult? To the extent that you have to make sacrifices. Oh, and not to mention, things I have been always hearing from my mom. And then I had my little sister. I was the eldest child in the family so I am expected to help my parents in taking care of my little sister. I was really hands-on with her. I learned basic things in taking care of an infant. Say for example, her cues when she was hungry, or when she’s sleepy and all those. I was with all through out her growing up years. Basically, I had an idea of what it’s like to be a mother because I thought it’s simple as what I did with taking care of my little sister. And then the time came where I had to work and earn to support my studies and to help in the finances of my family. I thought a little sacrifice of my sleep and time could go a long way. But, really, there are things you wouldn’t understand until you are in the same position.

So, I guess were all set, and let me share with you my journey as a mother!

I believe it all started when I saw a straight line and another faint line on that pregnancy test! I cannot explain what I felt during that moment when I saw the results. Though there were signs already. Like, I’ve been missing my periods, I am gaining unusual weight, I was always dizzy, I get tired easily and I just wanted to sleep all day. Then those lines just answered all the questions I had in my mind. But, of course, since it was all unexpected, there was a part in me that was saying that I hope that faint line doesn’t really mean that I am pregnant. I was already thinking of my parents’ reaction that moment, I was in tears while holding the pregnancy test kit. And then I stood up, hurriedly went back to Yomi’s room, and showed him the result. He was extremely happy that he was smiling all day. I do love him so much that somehow, I almost forgot the things I am worried about when I saw how happy he was. He gave me reassurance that he will not leave me, that I will not face everything alone, because we are going to do it all together! I did not tell him the things I was so worried and scared of. I just don’t want to lose that smile he has that day.

Then after a few months, I tried to live normal specially I haven’t told my father yet about the news. That time, my mom was in the UK because she had to work for to help in our finances and also she was fixing our dual citizenship too. Everyday was really a struggle for me. I had to wear loose clothes so that my father wouldn’t notice my tiny baby bump that time. Though there were times when my little brother would see my tummy when I was dressing up then he would make fun of it and would say “baby tummy?!” Like he was asking if there was a baby in my tummy. It freaked me out because that could give my father an idea! But I think he did not hear those things, or at least I thought. To add with my struggles, I had to not think of myself only anymore, I had to be careful with what I am eating, and I had to take my vitamins, and not to mention, I really don’t know how I can take those without my father seeing it. Then of course, I had those usual pregnant cravings. There were times that I was really on the verge of crying because if I am at home with my father, I had to be careful in asking those snacks I am craving because of course he would notice it.

Then the time came when my father confronted me and asked me what my problem was. I was clueless and was hoping that he was not referring about my pregnancy, but he knew already. He asked me who the father was and so I told him everything. Then he asked Yomi to come over to our house that time to talk about his plans. After they talked, my father did not speak with me the whole day. I knew my pregnancy hurt him. He was more concerned of what will my mother feel when she hears the news. Weeks passed, and I guess he already accepted it and he was already asking what fruits I was craving. Food that I want and would let me rest when he felt I was really tired. He told me I had to tell my mom the soonest, and that’s what I did. I called my mom on Facebook messenger, and told her everything. I was expecting harsh words from her, and that she would shout at me, I even thought that after I told her, she wouldn’t want to speak with me for a while. But none of those happened. On a very calm voice, she told me how I am coping up with things. I can hear her voice cracking and I knew she was crying while she was talking with me. She just said, she felt about it and before I even say the words, she already knew it.

Then everything went a little normal compared to the past few months after everyone in my family knew about my pregnancy. My baby bump was starting to show that time, and I can already feel my baby moving inside me. Let’s move forward to the moment when I gave birth.

I can remember that I was in so much pain that no words can suffice to describe it when I was in labor, and true to what every mothers were saying, you would forget those pain and discomforts once you saw your baby. I can still remember the feeling when I first saw her. I was still unable to sit for it was really still painful, but I couldn’t really explain that magical feeling. All I knew was that she needed me, and that I had to attend to her needs already. I can’t explain where I got the strength that time. And then I was able to finally sit, and carry her in my arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, she was beautiful, I can’t help it. Tears fell, but I am sure that it was tears of so much joy and all I can think of that time was the love I already have for her.

Being a mother at my age was really not easy. As you know, I am just 20 years old when I had her, and I just finished my degree that time. As what I have researched, I am included in what they call “Young Adult” stage. It is where an individual normally yearns so much in life. In my case, I wanted to achieve things specially in my career, I wanted to have adventures like what my friends had. To make it short, and to tell everyone honestly, I was longing for more than what I have. I was envy with my friends for they could do anything, anywhere and every time. I had to be away with my family too. I was a bit depressed at some point my life. I was always thinking the things I could have if I did not get pregnant at an early age. I would cry often when I started missing my family, and when I think of things I no longer have because of being a mother. I was so harsh that I blame myself everyday. But it came to an end when I got tired of crying and blaming things to myself.

I have so much to experience yet with this journey of motherhood, but one thing I am certain of, is that I do not regret the repercussions of my actions before. I do not regret having my Anastasia, and I do not mind sacrificing almost everything for her, all I have in my mind right now is to give her a future she deserves. If it means of me giving up things I really want and need, I would not have second thoughts of doing it. I actually learned so much with the start of this journey. I also get to know myself more and was actually amazed of the things I thought I couldn’t do but of course, I was able to.

To all young mothers who are reading this post, I hope you draw some strength from this and I hope I somehow inspired you. It is not yet the end of the world for us. We have so much time for all our goals and ain’t it fun to achieve things together with our little munchkins?

Shoot me a message if you feel alone, or if you want to talk about these things. I’ll be very glad to listen and help you.

Til my next blog post!!!

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Begin again…

After several times of being on hiatus, I finally came up with a more organized theme that I really want for this blog. I felt the need to take a break from blogging. I even had my break in editing my vlogs. I have so much struggle in looking for an inspiration and organizing all the ideas that I would love to put on my blog. However, I just cannot decide in those few months that I was on hiatus, on whether what to share. As you can see, my blog posts were all about my motherhood experiences. But I felt that I need to share more than that. So instead of focusing this blog with my experiences as a mother, I have finally decided to share things I have learned before, may it be about love, or what not, anything about life actually. There! I can assure everyone that I can now write more often and that I can finally begin again.

 

The next blog posts will be categorized under “What it’s like…” with hashtags: #personal #life #keoramos

 

I cannot wait to be back on track again! If you happen to read this blog, I really thank you for still reading my posts despite of everything, and if you happened to read this post of mine for the first time, I will be more than happy to somehow inspire and share with you things that actually made my life better.

 

And finally, my lovely readers, just shoot me a message on things that you would like me to write a blog post about, or if you have any feedback, comment or what not, feel free to leave one!

 

Until my next blog, earthlings! ūüôā

 

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Anastasia’s First Birthday

So this explains why I have not been so active for the past few months. I was really busy planning and organizing my little one’s first birthday! It was not as easy as I thought. Considering how keen I am with every details, and how I always want to beat deadlines. And in this post, I will be sharing some of the few things I have learned along my supposed to be DIY party for Anastasia.

Trust me, if you are a first time mom, and really doesn’t have any experience with planning and organizing events or even simple parties, this is going to make you crazy! But of course, with the right people around you, and your “NEVER GIVE UP” mindset, you can achieve the party that you have always wanted for your little munchkin.

WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER?

  • Venue

= Where can your guests from North and South of your location can meet halfway?

= If you are planning to have your little one’s Christening and first birthday on just the same day, then you would have to consider the location of the church too. As much as possible, the church and your venue for your LO’s birthday should be near with one another. So you can have everyone from the Christening be able to attend the party too!

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This is the Our Lady of the Annunciation Parish & Shrine of the Incarnation church where Anastasia was baptized. It is located along Mindanao Avenue.
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And her party place! This is located along Congressional Avenue, just a few blocks from the church.
  • Time

= Of course, you have to know the availability of your guests. In my case, my little munchkin’s first birthday happened to be on a weekday (Thursday). I have to consider my guests availability, so I decided to have the event on weekend.

I also suggest that you can create an event on Facebook on your prospect date and time, and you can see there people who can and cannot come on that day. So you can gauge if you need to change the day or what have you.

  • Food

= I originally planned of having a DIY party where it can be a buffet style for the food, but due to some circumstances, I was not able to do my original plan. So what I did is to look for a restaurant that offers buffet style for parties. With the help of my loving friends and also with my research, I was able to have my party in Shakey’s that offers buffet style for the food. So I do not have to stress myself so much in thinking different packages of food for adults and kids.

  • Souvenirs

= Now, since I had Anastasia’s Christening on the same day as her birthday, I had to have souvenirs for her godparents. I do not want the usual souvenirs that are usually given, like the little angels or small feeding bottles with her picture on it. Though I have nothing against those souvenirs but I just really wanted to give something that can be of everyday use. And so I ended up with mason jars filled with popcorns! Very classy. And since for the party package I had with Shakey’s, the loot bags they have for the kids are only limited, I also decided to add more, specially for the boys because the loot bags Shakey’s can provide is depending on the theme you’ll be getting, which on my case was Barbie (not my theme though, but I have to choose). Those things I have added for the souvenirs and loot bags were all just from Divisoria! Believe me, you can buy quality souvenirs there and a lot of things to add for the loot bags without you spending so much!

  • Miscellaneous

= I also had a large tarpaulin for Anastasia, filled with her photos as she grows up. I just chose  a layout from Google, and good thing, I have my best friend Alyssa who helped me with the design of the tarpaulin.

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= Anastasia’s dress were all ordered from Amazon by my parents. We had two dresses for her, one for her Christening and another for her birthday party. If you feel like doing the same about ordering online, I suggest you give¬†an allowance with your LO’s size so at least, it is easier to repair if needed. Or you can just shop around with your munchkin so you can be very certain with how the dress would fit. I also suggest you have it done a month before your munchkin’s first birthday because I do not know why but babies grow so fast these days! One day they’re size 8, next thing you know, they’re size 10 already!

  • Cake

= For the cake, what I did first is come up with my sample design. It is where the price of the cake will be based. Next was I shopped around Facebook, and Instagram for people who can do customized cakes. Be prepared for your sample design and additional requests so they can gauge the cost of the cake. Oh and please, be very sure before you make some reservations. It’s a bit off if you’ll be cancelling orders or if you really have to cancel the order, have it done at least a week before the event.

Few more reminders, mommies!

If you are wondering how much did we spend for our Anastasia’s party, it was roughly around Php 60,000-70,000. Not bad for 170 pax!

I also suggest you have your reservation on the venues you would like to have, a month before the party. So you can secure your slot. Usually for some restaurants or venues, they will just be asking a down payment just to reserve the slot for you!

And always have a Plan B, C and D! At least you have something as a back up if all else fails.

You can shoot me a message for more details of Anastasia’s birthday. Or if you have questions about anything, feel free to send a message!

keooo

6 months and counting with Baby A.

Imagine that! She’s turning seven months a week from now. I am just so happy to see her grow into someone I want her to be. She’s such a happy kid. She would often laugh and play by herself. She doesn’t cry for nothing. She’ll just cry whenever she is hungry or tired and wants to sleep. She is starting to talk right now, she knows how to interact and play with us. She would often shout at the top of her lungs when she wants to talk ¬†with us. Anastasia has always been my stress reliever, the only drive that keeps me going to whatever I have to face. I don’t have much to say for her developments, I’ll just post the photos below and you’ll see ow grown up she is.

Life with Anastasia.

And so after being on hiatus, I finally have enough time to continue blogging. I just got back to working, not to mention, on a very graveyard shift. LOL! Oh and with longer hours! I must admit that it was really exhausting. But as soon I got the hang of it, and also a big thanks to Yomi who helped me cope up with the changes. A lot of adjustments were done just for us to work. Insert all words synonymous with “TIRED” here. Those are the things we often feel, but because Yomi and I got no choice, we continue to strive harder for our little angel.

But after all the stress, that’s where our Anastasia comes in.She takes away all our discomforts in life. Amazing how she is able to do that by just simply smiling. Speaking of my cutie Anastasia…

Anastasia’s second and third month!

Time flies so fast and she is almost on her fourth month. Anastasia is growing even more beautiful everyday. She is starting to have her own habits. She is now able to sleep by herself and oftentimes we need not to carry her every now and then. She started to turn on the first week of her third month. She was struggling at first, and we cannot help but try to push her a little for her to be successful. But then, little by little she is now able to turn without any help nor assistance. She is able to lift her head and would often smile. She now likes to talk, her coocoo’s, all day all night. She is now taking 4oz of milk and sometimes would ask for more! She sleeps the longest during nightime and would be awake all day. In just two months, she’s able to achieve a lot of things! I couldn’t be more proud of my little Tasia.

Below our her photos during her second and third month:

 

365 days with Yomi.

Yomi and I just celebrated our first year anniversary last December 25. Yes, same day as Christmas! So we really have a lot to celebrate on that day. But because we have now our little munchkin Anastasia, we were not able to celebrate our  anniversary the way we wanted it. I was thinking the whole day on how we can at least make the day special without doing something grand or going out, then I just ended up reminiscing our moments together and realized how lucky and blessed I am to have him.

My mom once said that I need to find a man who’s like my father. Someone who’s very selfless, patient and who will truly love me for who I am. And I think I already have that someone. And I guess, my parents can already see that too.

If I were to describe Yomi in two words, it’s TRUE LOVE.

I have brought life to our little angel at an early age. Considering all the responsibilities I now have, there are also times where I miss doing things I used to do before. And things I planned to do after I finish college. I also needed to be away from my family for a while for me to take care of our Anastasia.

So¬†I was overwhelmed with how things were going. I was really scared going out of my comfort zone. I feel like I am going to be a failure specially with my responsibilities as a mother. Everyday felt like a serious challenge for me, it’s like I am in a battlefield. It was very difficult for me to cope up with drastic changes and adjustment. Most of the time, I felt depressed and just wanted to run away from everything. It’s tiring when you have to face the same kind of stress everyday. And patience was never my strong suit. I also have terrible mood swings. Like for a moment, I can be very giddy and cheerful and can switch to solitude in just a second. I also get irritated easily, worry too much and overthink very often. That is how I’ve been lately.

But with Yomi’s true love for me, little by little, I am starting to see things from a different perspective. Yomi’s my total opposite. He’s very passive, positive in everything, selfless, and talk about his very long patience and understanding! Whenever we have our misunderstandings, he usually says sorry right away just not to prolong the argument. One time, I¬†asked him why would he always apologize even if he knows it’s not his fault. He said that ‘he would rather lose a fight with me and let down his pride than to lose me at all.’¬†

I was very speechless with his answer and made me realize things. He’s never a fan of heated argument so he deal things with a very relaxed and calm or I must say in a very mature way. And it really solves things, compared with how I handle things.

Oftentimes, I wanted to give up everything and push people away from me because I think that they will never understand what I am going through. But Yomi never got tired of showing his love for me. He never failed to remind that he is always there for me. He would always say that he wants me happy and that he’ll do everything for me. In times I wanted to run away from everything, he would just then hold me close and would tell me that I am never alone with this battle. That I need to be strong for him and Anastasia. And despite my mind blowing mood swings, he still chose to stay and love me.

I must have done something very good at some point in my life to have and deserve him. The things written here may be too good to be true, but know that I am used to writing sad and happy thoughts back then with my former blog, so every single detail I’ve put here were all true.

We wouldn’t reach this far if not for his patience and understanding and most of all his true love.

I really am right in choosing Yomi because with him I become the best possible version of myself.

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Embracing changes.

I have been thinking of things to blog, I have so much ideas, my thoughts are overflowing but I am not able to organize them. So please excuse me for being on hiatus, which I think will happen a bit often because my leave is almost over, as much as I wanted to stay at home and take care of my Anastasia, I also really have to return to work.

So these past few days, I have been reminiscing a lot and suddenly faced with this question…

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First thing that came into my mind were my “what if’s?” and then I find myself answering those too.

Here are my “what if’s?”

  1. What if I did follow my curfew?
  2. What if I did study harder and aimed to finish college with flying colors?
  3. What if I did not work while studying?
  4. What if I did not have much social life back in college?
  5. What if I chose to listen and obey everything my parents told me?

And so I also find myself answering these:

  1. If I did follow my curfew then I would be at home early, would have more time with my siblings, would not procrastinate with deadlines I have to meet and would have enough rest. BUT still, I cannot deny the fact that I did enjoy those times I went home late just to spend more time with my friends, doing extra-curricular activities and simply wandering alone.
  2. If I did study harder, then I would have higher average and I can also finish college with flying colors just like my block mates. BUT I cannot be so hard with myself. Considering that I help my sister study (take note, this is on a daily basis), I also worked while studying during my senior year, and still able to maintain my grades and did not fail any subject, I guess with what I have achieved, I am very much fulfilled and proud!
  3. If I did not work while studying then just like following my curfew, I would be able to have more time to do things and would be able to focus a lot. BUT I must admit that working while studying was never an easy thing to do. I dealt with serious time management, felt tired every now and then that sometimes 12 hours of sleep was still not enough and I cannot focus on things. Having experienced all of these, I still have no regret of making the decision to work. I learned to be independent because I cannot expect everyone to always be there to help with things. I learned to value time, and realized how precious every single second of my life. And I learned how to prioritize important matters.
  4. If I did not have social life I had back ¬†then I wouldn’t enjoy college as much as I did. I will not be able to step out of my comfort zone. And most of all, I wouldn’t meet people whom I have never thought would be there with me through thick and thin.
  5. If I chose to follow everything my parents told me, then they will be more than glad that I have a good life the way they wanted it. BUT even though I may have not obeyed them often and would stick with whatever decision I have, I know for a fact that I can still make them proud and happy for me. I may be far from my them but they never fail to make me feel loved and have always supported me with whatever I do.

 

And I am very grateful that the path I chose led me to Yomi.¬†He’s one of the reasons why I love my life so much. I am lucky to meet his very loving family. And above all the things that he gave me, I am very blessed to have Anastasia. Now I can clearly see my purpose in life.

For the very first time in my 20 years of existence, I was not able to spend the holiday season with my family. It is heartbreaking, I must say. But Yomi and his family did not make me feel like I’m an outcast with them and¬†it made me feel better.

I am never a fan of drastic changes in life. Because  I find it so difficult to cope up. But this experience taught me to embrace the changes and learned that acceptance will always be the key to happiness!

 So cheers to a year full of dreams to make, goals to achieve and happiness that will forever be with us.

 

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This is Yomi’s very loving and happy family. ūüôā
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This is my family in Cavite. ūüôā My grandparents with my cousins.
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This is my family in the UK. That’s my mom, dad, Kelly and Mikel (my siblings). ūüôā
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And of course my own little family. My life, Yomi and Anastasia. ūüôā

 

keooo