Is it really okay not to be okay?

I am pretty sure everyone may have hear or read these words “It is okay not to be okay” from somewhere. Cliche as it may be but it is really true!

We all have our fair share of struggles, anxieties, challenges we are yet to overcome, and a lot more in our lives. There may be times you wanted to just run away, or escape from everything just for a while. Lucky you, if you’ve can, and you’ve got tons of time to spare. And for those who can’t, come sit with me, and let us discuss this over a cup of coffee. Oh, wait! Make it cups! 😉

When I was still studying, I was still a bit of idealistic on how to deal with specific matters. For instance, I was so used to organizing things and making sure that everything is on schedule. But, of course life is never perfect! There will be times where I need to be working on a project on a such short notice and not to mention with a deadline.

There goes my rattled self. Overthinking. Underestimating myself. And even thinking of failing already without even starting anything yet. And so I started procrastinating.

Then I started working. Sure, it is a fact that my employer would be expecting the best from me (mainly why they hired me, right?) This time, I’m not dealing with my grades anymore, I now got a scorecard I need to pass or else, my employment is at stake. And there goes my idealistic way of handling things. I am trying so hard to meet and exceed expectations. As for me, those are my only chances of succeeding. And of course, there has come a time that I failed to hit the target, passed my scorecard for a month. And that hits me big time! I got demotivated. Judged myself! I even think of quitting just because I consider myself not fit anymore for the job.

Moving on to next phase of my life,  I became a mother. Since I was a bit young when I became one, I still have to deal on knowing the things I want, over the things I needed to prioritize first. I wanted to pursue the degree I’ve finished, work and spend time on things I love doing. Basically, fulfilling my passion, and following my dreams. Too bad the circumstances won’t allow me. I needed a job that would fit into my schedule as a mom, and most importantly will help with our financial needs. Not only determining what career path must I take was difficult for me, it is also the choice I have to make on whether I needed to stay at home and be with my daughter as she grows up, or be more practical and have a job that will support her needs.

These are the things I once thought easy to deal with. Things I thought I could make a decision right away. Until it all happened to me. I thought I have my life perfectly planned. I thought writing down things on my planner will make my life be organized, smooth and seamless.

Ladies, mommas, and everyone out there reading this, I hope you all understand what I am pointing at. There are times, instances, in our lives where we do not have a say of how it should be happening. You cannot always expect things will turn out as you planned. Sure it is good that you’ve got your whole life planned ahead, but always consider of having alternatives.

I once read this from a Facebook post my mom tagged me:

“People around you might seem to go ahead of you, some might seem to be behind you.

But everyone is running their own RACE, in their own TIME. Don’t envy them or mock them. They are in their TIME ZONE, and you are in yours! Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.

So, RELAX. You’re not LATE. You’re not EARLY. You are very much ON TIME, and in your TIME ZONE Destiny set up for you.”

 

So if you’re not doing okay as of the moment, I hope this helped. Even just for a little. 🙂

 

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Mama says “No.”

Have you ever been invited over to parties, post shift eat out’s, or a simple get together with college friends? And yet you cannot come, simply because you have a little munchkin waiting for you to come home. Take note on the fact as well that you used to go on these gatherings before without thinking twice.

And just because you cannot join, you are now “the boring one”. “The kill joy” on the group, and or worst, you may be called “the anti-social earthling“.

My answer to the first question? Yes, I have! And have been saying  “No.” countless time as of the moment.

Let me share you our side of our story.

Friends, if you are to ask what our minds thought first…

We thought of saying “Yes, I’ll go!” and then minutes after we think of so many things that needs to be done instead of joining. Things such as:

  • What time will I get home if I go with them?
  • Who will look after my munchkin if I joined them?
  • Will I have enough time to finish chores after joining them?
  • Do I have enough supplies at home for my munchkin?
  • Will spending even just a little will affect our finances?
  • Will I get enough rest if I join them as I still have to look after and take care of my munchkin as I get home?

You see? And those are just some of the things from our very long list that we consider before joining.  And that is why we end up saying “No.”

So, please don’t get us wrong! We do not want a boring life too, however, we just had to weigh our priorities now. Being a mother would require more than 24 hours in a day to finish everything that needs to be done. So we’d rather spend, if there are any, extra time, minutes, or even seconds at home, probably resting to gain more energy for other tasks we have to finish.

Know that we do not intend to kill the good vibes. Or the fun of joining the gathering. In 7 days in a week, us, mothers get to spend their day based on one routine only. Because that’s how we can keep up with a lot of things at home and at work (if you have one). So if there is anyone who would most likely to have fun, it would be us! We definitely wouldn’t want to say “No.” for chances like these. We just really had to.

And also, we are not introverts nor anti-social earthlings. A lot can happen in a day of being a mother. It’s like a roller coaster ride. Everyday, we get to experience a lot of things, and mind you that not all of these are the good or fun ones. So, yes! We thought of really joining at first as we needed a sweet escape too from the reality. We needed people we can talk with about our endless rants, mommy experiences, and trust me, we’ve got a whole lot of topics we’d like to talk over if given a chance. But it simply doesn’t work that way.  We tend to keep those to ourselves as we know and understand that not everyone would be fond of the experiences, or the milestones of my munchkin had that I will share. Not everyone will understand us, or see things the way we see it. Not everyone will truly listen as we confide how challenging being a mother is. Though, it’s not bad at all if we have few friends that would really want listen to these whole mommy experience we have.

I am not complaining. Nor wishing things would be different. This is just our side of the story and know that not all mothers have the same dilemma, still we hope for everyone’s understanding. Lucky for some if this is not how things are for them, be grateful as you were given the luxury of time.

I am just 22 years old, and I must admit that I truly struggle whenever I weigh my priorities. A part of me says I needed to go home as early as I can as it wouldn’t be fair if I let someone take care of my munchkin while I have fun, and a part of me too says I needed sometime for myself too. Yes it is true, and everyone needs it too. It’s just that I cannot always say “Yes.” to these chances of having my “me-time”.

I never knew how challenging it is to be a parent. Because I am somewhat in the middle of choosing my wants over my needs, and I guess it’s part of my own journey. I may be a young mom and has a lot of things to learn more compared to other mommies, but I know I will be better in time.

 

So, cheers for us, beautiful mommies! You are doing great! You are making the right choice. May it be to say “Yes!” or “No!”.

 

Love,

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Welcome, 2018!

And so I am back, for the nth time from being on hiatus mode here! Nevertheless, join me as I welcome 2018 with a bang!

Wonderin’ what’s with the bang?

I am finally collaborating my blogsite with my very own Youtube channel! Yaaay!

Which leads me to telling you guys, that the following posts you will read here on my page will also be the same content that I will be putting up on my channel. I am so thrilled with this new project and hopefully I get to be consistent with my uploads provided my very unpredictable yet kinda weird work schedule.

You might be thinking what ran into my mind that I suddenly pushed myself into doing these things.

I have always wanted to share my thoughts with everyone and somehow help them with whatever they may be going through that I was able to surpass somehow.

Not everyone knows, but sometimes it feels so good to know that you are not the only one in your situation. That you are not alone in your journey. And that you have an amazing support system aside from your family and loved ones!

And I am thinking that creating a blog site and a Youtube channel would be the perfect avenue for me to achieve my purpose in life.

And this wouldn’t be possible without you, guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

 

‘Til my next blog!!! Happy new year, everyone!

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What it’s like to be a young mother?

I always thought of what it’s like to be a mother? Like, is it really that difficult? To the extent that you have to make sacrifices. Oh, and not to mention, things I have been always hearing from my mom. And then I had my little sister. I was the eldest child in the family so I am expected to help my parents in taking care of my little sister. I was really hands-on with her. I learned basic things in taking care of an infant. Say for example, her cues when she was hungry, or when she’s sleepy and all those. I was with all through out her growing up years. Basically, I had an idea of what it’s like to be a mother because I thought it’s simple as what I did with taking care of my little sister. And then the time came where I had to work and earn to support my studies and to help in the finances of my family. I thought a little sacrifice of my sleep and time could go a long way. But, really, there are things you wouldn’t understand until you are in the same position.

So, I guess were all set, and let me share with you my journey as a mother!

I believe it all started when I saw a straight line and another faint line on that pregnancy test! I cannot explain what I felt during that moment when I saw the results. Though there were signs already. Like, I’ve been missing my periods, I am gaining unusual weight, I was always dizzy, I get tired easily and I just wanted to sleep all day. Then those lines just answered all the questions I had in my mind. But, of course, since it was all unexpected, there was a part in me that was saying that I hope that faint line doesn’t really mean that I am pregnant. I was already thinking of my parents’ reaction that moment, I was in tears while holding the pregnancy test kit. And then I stood up, hurriedly went back to Yomi’s room, and showed him the result. He was extremely happy that he was smiling all day. I do love him so much that somehow, I almost forgot the things I am worried about when I saw how happy he was. He gave me reassurance that he will not leave me, that I will not face everything alone, because we are going to do it all together! I did not tell him the things I was so worried and scared of. I just don’t want to lose that smile he has that day.

Then after a few months, I tried to live normal specially I haven’t told my father yet about the news. That time, my mom was in the UK because she had to work for to help in our finances and also she was fixing our dual citizenship too. Everyday was really a struggle for me. I had to wear loose clothes so that my father wouldn’t notice my tiny baby bump that time. Though there were times when my little brother would see my tummy when I was dressing up then he would make fun of it and would say “baby tummy?!” Like he was asking if there was a baby in my tummy. It freaked me out because that could give my father an idea! But I think he did not hear those things, or at least I thought. To add with my struggles, I had to not think of myself only anymore, I had to be careful with what I am eating, and I had to take my vitamins, and not to mention, I really don’t know how I can take those without my father seeing it. Then of course, I had those usual pregnant cravings. There were times that I was really on the verge of crying because if I am at home with my father, I had to be careful in asking those snacks I am craving because of course he would notice it.

Then the time came when my father confronted me and asked me what my problem was. I was clueless and was hoping that he was not referring about my pregnancy, but he knew already. He asked me who the father was and so I told him everything. Then he asked Yomi to come over to our house that time to talk about his plans. After they talked, my father did not speak with me the whole day. I knew my pregnancy hurt him. He was more concerned of what will my mother feel when she hears the news. Weeks passed, and I guess he already accepted it and he was already asking what fruits I was craving. Food that I want and would let me rest when he felt I was really tired. He told me I had to tell my mom the soonest, and that’s what I did. I called my mom on Facebook messenger, and told her everything. I was expecting harsh words from her, and that she would shout at me, I even thought that after I told her, she wouldn’t want to speak with me for a while. But none of those happened. On a very calm voice, she told me how I am coping up with things. I can hear her voice cracking and I knew she was crying while she was talking with me. She just said, she felt about it and before I even say the words, she already knew it.

Then everything went a little normal compared to the past few months after everyone in my family knew about my pregnancy. My baby bump was starting to show that time, and I can already feel my baby moving inside me. Let’s move forward to the moment when I gave birth.

I can remember that I was in so much pain that no words can suffice to describe it when I was in labor, and true to what every mothers were saying, you would forget those pain and discomforts once you saw your baby. I can still remember the feeling when I first saw her. I was still unable to sit for it was really still painful, but I couldn’t really explain that magical feeling. All I knew was that she needed me, and that I had to attend to her needs already. I can’t explain where I got the strength that time. And then I was able to finally sit, and carry her in my arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, she was beautiful, I can’t help it. Tears fell, but I am sure that it was tears of so much joy and all I can think of that time was the love I already have for her.

Being a mother at my age was really not easy. As you know, I am just 20 years old when I had her, and I just finished my degree that time. As what I have researched, I am included in what they call “Young Adult” stage. It is where an individual normally yearns so much in life. In my case, I wanted to achieve things specially in my career, I wanted to have adventures like what my friends had. To make it short, and to tell everyone honestly, I was longing for more than what I have. I was envy with my friends for they could do anything, anywhere and every time. I had to be away with my family too. I was a bit depressed at some point my life. I was always thinking the things I could have if I did not get pregnant at an early age. I would cry often when I started missing my family, and when I think of things I no longer have because of being a mother. I was so harsh that I blame myself everyday. But it came to an end when I got tired of crying and blaming things to myself.

I have so much to experience yet with this journey of motherhood, but one thing I am certain of, is that I do not regret the repercussions of my actions before. I do not regret having my Anastasia, and I do not mind sacrificing almost everything for her, all I have in my mind right now is to give her a future she deserves. If it means of me giving up things I really want and need, I would not have second thoughts of doing it. I actually learned so much with the start of this journey. I also get to know myself more and was actually amazed of the things I thought I couldn’t do but of course, I was able to.

To all young mothers who are reading this post, I hope you draw some strength from this and I hope I somehow inspired you. It is not yet the end of the world for us. We have so much time for all our goals and ain’t it fun to achieve things together with our little munchkins?

Shoot me a message if you feel alone, or if you want to talk about these things. I’ll be very glad to listen and help you.

Til my next blog post!!!

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Begin again…

After several times of being on hiatus, I finally came up with a more organized theme that I really want for this blog. I felt the need to take a break from blogging. I even had my break in editing my vlogs. I have so much struggle in looking for an inspiration and organizing all the ideas that I would love to put on my blog. However, I just cannot decide in those few months that I was on hiatus, on whether what to share. As you can see, my blog posts were all about my motherhood experiences. But I felt that I need to share more than that. So instead of focusing this blog with my experiences as a mother, I have finally decided to share things I have learned before, may it be about love, or what not, anything about life actually. There! I can assure everyone that I can now write more often and that I can finally begin again.

 

The next blog posts will be categorized under “What it’s like…” with hashtags: #personal #life #keoramos

 

I cannot wait to be back on track again! If you happen to read this blog, I really thank you for still reading my posts despite of everything, and if you happened to read this post of mine for the first time, I will be more than happy to somehow inspire and share with you things that actually made my life better.

 

And finally, my lovely readers, just shoot me a message on things that you would like me to write a blog post about, or if you have any feedback, comment or what not, feel free to leave one!

 

Until my next blog, earthlings! 🙂

 

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Anastasia’s First Birthday

So this explains why I have not been so active for the past few months. I was really busy planning and organizing my little one’s first birthday! It was not as easy as I thought. Considering how keen I am with every details, and how I always want to beat deadlines. And in this post, I will be sharing some of the few things I have learned along my supposed to be DIY party for Anastasia.

Trust me, if you are a first time mom, and really doesn’t have any experience with planning and organizing events or even simple parties, this is going to make you crazy! But of course, with the right people around you, and your “NEVER GIVE UP” mindset, you can achieve the party that you have always wanted for your little munchkin.

WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER?

  • Venue

= Where can your guests from North and South of your location can meet halfway?

= If you are planning to have your little one’s Christening and first birthday on just the same day, then you would have to consider the location of the church too. As much as possible, the church and your venue for your LO’s birthday should be near with one another. So you can have everyone from the Christening be able to attend the party too!

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This is the Our Lady of the Annunciation Parish & Shrine of the Incarnation church where Anastasia was baptized. It is located along Mindanao Avenue.
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And her party place! This is located along Congressional Avenue, just a few blocks from the church.
  • Time

= Of course, you have to know the availability of your guests. In my case, my little munchkin’s first birthday happened to be on a weekday (Thursday). I have to consider my guests availability, so I decided to have the event on weekend.

I also suggest that you can create an event on Facebook on your prospect date and time, and you can see there people who can and cannot come on that day. So you can gauge if you need to change the day or what have you.

  • Food

= I originally planned of having a DIY party where it can be a buffet style for the food, but due to some circumstances, I was not able to do my original plan. So what I did is to look for a restaurant that offers buffet style for parties. With the help of my loving friends and also with my research, I was able to have my party in Shakey’s that offers buffet style for the food. So I do not have to stress myself so much in thinking different packages of food for adults and kids.

  • Souvenirs

= Now, since I had Anastasia’s Christening on the same day as her birthday, I had to have souvenirs for her godparents. I do not want the usual souvenirs that are usually given, like the little angels or small feeding bottles with her picture on it. Though I have nothing against those souvenirs but I just really wanted to give something that can be of everyday use. And so I ended up with mason jars filled with popcorns! Very classy. And since for the party package I had with Shakey’s, the loot bags they have for the kids are only limited, I also decided to add more, specially for the boys because the loot bags Shakey’s can provide is depending on the theme you’ll be getting, which on my case was Barbie (not my theme though, but I have to choose). Those things I have added for the souvenirs and loot bags were all just from Divisoria! Believe me, you can buy quality souvenirs there and a lot of things to add for the loot bags without you spending so much!

  • Miscellaneous

= I also had a large tarpaulin for Anastasia, filled with her photos as she grows up. I just chose  a layout from Google, and good thing, I have my best friend Alyssa who helped me with the design of the tarpaulin.

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= Anastasia’s dress were all ordered from Amazon by my parents. We had two dresses for her, one for her Christening and another for her birthday party. If you feel like doing the same about ordering online, I suggest you give an allowance with your LO’s size so at least, it is easier to repair if needed. Or you can just shop around with your munchkin so you can be very certain with how the dress would fit. I also suggest you have it done a month before your munchkin’s first birthday because I do not know why but babies grow so fast these days! One day they’re size 8, next thing you know, they’re size 10 already!

  • Cake

= For the cake, what I did first is come up with my sample design. It is where the price of the cake will be based. Next was I shopped around Facebook, and Instagram for people who can do customized cakes. Be prepared for your sample design and additional requests so they can gauge the cost of the cake. Oh and please, be very sure before you make some reservations. It’s a bit off if you’ll be cancelling orders or if you really have to cancel the order, have it done at least a week before the event.

Few more reminders, mommies!

If you are wondering how much did we spend for our Anastasia’s party, it was roughly around Php 60,000-70,000. Not bad for 170 pax!

I also suggest you have your reservation on the venues you would like to have, a month before the party. So you can secure your slot. Usually for some restaurants or venues, they will just be asking a down payment just to reserve the slot for you!

And always have a Plan B, C and D! At least you have something as a back up if all else fails.

You can shoot me a message for more details of Anastasia’s birthday. Or if you have questions about anything, feel free to send a message!

keooo

6 months and counting with Baby A.

Imagine that! She’s turning seven months a week from now. I am just so happy to see her grow into someone I want her to be. She’s such a happy kid. She would often laugh and play by herself. She doesn’t cry for nothing. She’ll just cry whenever she is hungry or tired and wants to sleep. She is starting to talk right now, she knows how to interact and play with us. She would often shout at the top of her lungs when she wants to talk  with us. Anastasia has always been my stress reliever, the only drive that keeps me going to whatever I have to face. I don’t have much to say for her developments, I’ll just post the photos below and you’ll see ow grown up she is.