What it’s like to be a young mother?

I always thought of what it’s like to be a mother? Like, is it really that difficult? To the extent that you have to make sacrifices. Oh, and not to mention, things I have been always hearing from my mom. And then I had my little sister. I was the eldest child in the family so I am expected to help my parents in taking care of my little sister. I was really hands-on with her. I learned basic things in taking care of an infant. Say for example, her cues when she was hungry, or when she’s sleepy and all those. I was with all through out her growing up years. Basically, I had an idea of what it’s like to be a mother because I thought it’s simple as what I did with taking care of my little sister. And then the time came where I had to work and earn to support my studies and to help in the finances of my family. I thought a little sacrifice of my sleep and time could go a long way. But, really, there are things you wouldn’t understand until you are in the same position.

So, I guess were all set, and let me share with you my journey as a mother!

I believe it all started when I saw a straight line and another faint line on that pregnancy test! I cannot explain what I felt during that moment when I saw the results. Though there were signs already. Like, I’ve been missing my periods, I am gaining unusual weight, I was always dizzy, I get tired easily and I just wanted to sleep all day. Then those lines just answered all the questions I had in my mind. But, of course, since it was all unexpected, there was a part in me that was saying that I hope that faint line doesn’t really mean that I am pregnant. I was already thinking of my parents’ reaction that moment, I was in tears while holding the pregnancy test kit. And then I stood up, hurriedly went back to Yomi’s room, and showed him the result. He was extremely happy that he was smiling all day. I do love him so much that somehow, I almost forgot the things I am worried about when I saw how happy he was. He gave me reassurance that he will not leave me, that I will not face everything alone, because we are going to do it all together! I did not tell him the things I was so worried and scared of. I just don’t want to lose that smile he has that day.

Then after a few months, I tried to live normal specially I haven’t told my father yet about the news. That time, my mom was in the UK because she had to work for to help in our finances and also she was fixing our dual citizenship too. Everyday was really a struggle for me. I had to wear loose clothes so that my father wouldn’t notice my tiny baby bump that time. Though there were times when my little brother would see my tummy when I was dressing up then he would make fun of it and would say “baby tummy?!” Like he was asking if there was a baby in my tummy. It freaked me out because that could give my father an idea! But I think he did not hear those things, or at least I thought. To add with my struggles, I had to not think of myself only anymore, I had to be careful with what I am eating, and I had to take my vitamins, and not to mention, I really don’t know how I can take those without my father seeing it. Then of course, I had those usual pregnant cravings. There were times that I was really on the verge of crying because if I am at home with my father, I had to be careful in asking those snacks I am craving because of course he would notice it.

Then the time came when my father confronted me and asked me what my problem was. I was clueless and was hoping that he was not referring about my pregnancy, but he knew already. He asked me who the father was and so I told him everything. Then he asked Yomi to come over to our house that time to talk about his plans. After they talked, my father did not speak with me the whole day. I knew my pregnancy hurt him. He was more concerned of what will my mother feel when she hears the news. Weeks passed, and I guess he already accepted it and he was already asking what fruits I was craving. Food that I want and would let me rest when he felt I was really tired. He told me I had to tell my mom the soonest, and that’s what I did. I called my mom on Facebook messenger, and told her everything. I was expecting harsh words from her, and that she would shout at me, I even thought that after I told her, she wouldn’t want to speak with me for a while. But none of those happened. On a very calm voice, she told me how I am coping up with things. I can hear her voice cracking and I knew she was crying while she was talking with me. She just said, she felt about it and before I even say the words, she already knew it.

Then everything went a little normal compared to the past few months after everyone in my family knew about my pregnancy. My baby bump was starting to show that time, and I can already feel my baby moving inside me. Let’s move forward to the moment when I gave birth.

I can remember that I was in so much pain that no words can suffice to describe it when I was in labor, and true to what every mothers were saying, you would forget those pain and discomforts once you saw your baby. I can still remember the feeling when I first saw her. I was still unable to sit for it was really still painful, but I couldn’t really explain that magical feeling. All I knew was that she needed me, and that I had to attend to her needs already. I can’t explain where I got the strength that time. And then I was able to finally sit, and carry her in my arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, she was beautiful, I can’t help it. Tears fell, but I am sure that it was tears of so much joy and all I can think of that time was the love I already have for her.

Being a mother at my age was really not easy. As you know, I am just 20 years old when I had her, and I just finished my degree that time. As what I have researched, I am included in what they call “Young Adult” stage. It is where an individual normally yearns so much in life. In my case, I wanted to achieve things specially in my career, I wanted to have adventures like what my friends had. To make it short, and to tell everyone honestly, I was longing for more than what I have. I was envy with my friends for they could do anything, anywhere and every time. I had to be away with my family too. I was a bit depressed at some point my life. I was always thinking the things I could have if I did not get pregnant at an early age. I would cry often when I started missing my family, and when I think of things I no longer have because of being a mother. I was so harsh that I blame myself everyday. But it came to an end when I got tired of crying and blaming things to myself.

I have so much to experience yet with this journey of motherhood, but one thing I am certain of, is that I do not regret the repercussions of my actions before. I do not regret having my Anastasia, and I do not mind sacrificing almost everything for her, all I have in my mind right now is to give her a future she deserves. If it means of me giving up things I really want and need, I would not have second thoughts of doing it. I actually learned so much with the start of this journey. I also get to know myself more and was actually amazed of the things I thought I couldn’t do but of course, I was able to.

To all young mothers who are reading this post, I hope you draw some strength from this and I hope I somehow inspired you. It is not yet the end of the world for us. We have so much time for all our goals and ain’t it fun to achieve things together with our little munchkins?

Shoot me a message if you feel alone, or if you want to talk about these things. I’ll be very glad to listen and help you.

Til my next blog post!!!

blog

Begin again…

After several times of being on hiatus, I finally came up with a more organized theme that I really want for this blog. I felt the need to take a break from blogging. I even had my break in editing my vlogs. I have so much struggle in looking for an inspiration and organizing all the ideas that I would love to put on my blog. However, I just cannot decide in those few months that I was on hiatus, on whether what to share. As you can see, my blog posts were all about my motherhood experiences. But I felt that I need to share more than that. So instead of focusing this blog with my experiences as a mother, I have finally decided to share things I have learned before, may it be about love, or what not, anything about life actually. There! I can assure everyone that I can now write more often and that I can finally begin again.

 

The next blog posts will be categorized under “What it’s like…” with hashtags: #personal #life #keoramos

 

I cannot wait to be back on track again! If you happen to read this blog, I really thank you for still reading my posts despite of everything, and if you happened to read this post of mine for the first time, I will be more than happy to somehow inspire and share with you things that actually made my life better.

 

And finally, my lovely readers, just shoot me a message on things that you would like me to write a blog post about, or if you have any feedback, comment or what not, feel free to leave one!

 

Until my next blog, earthlings! 🙂

 

blog

Anastasia @ 7(months)!

I may have been working full time on a night shift, but that does not hinder me from seeing how Anastasia grows. I have witnessed her developments and her little milestones that make us even more proud of her. I must admit, I like it more now that she’s basically trying to go on her own. She is now able to hold her bottle and drink her milk. Play with the stuffed toys she has, she even often initiates playtime. You would know that she’s in the mood to play when she doesn’t stop screaming and would laugh after. She would even welcome us from work with a very huge smile and you would even see how ecstatic she is to us come home. Oh how I love Anastasia! Sometimes, the exhaustion I get from work, the stress I deal with everyday, and a whole lot more are already making sense. What I really mean by that is I now have a purpose, an inspiration and a very strong drive to continue and work harder. Sometimes, you would just really be surprise to the things that you could do just for the ones you really love! Like how I am with Anastasia, and with our family. Below are her pictures during her seventh month! Ooh and not to mention, she’s turning 8 months in a few days. Yey for my little munchkin!

 

 

keooo

6 months and counting with Baby A.

Imagine that! She’s turning seven months a week from now. I am just so happy to see her grow into someone I want her to be. She’s such a happy kid. She would often laugh and play by herself. She doesn’t cry for nothing. She’ll just cry whenever she is hungry or tired and wants to sleep. She is starting to talk right now, she knows how to interact and play with us. She would often shout at the top of her lungs when she wants to talk  with us. Anastasia has always been my stress reliever, the only drive that keeps me going to whatever I have to face. I don’t have much to say for her developments, I’ll just post the photos below and you’ll see ow grown up she is.

Life with Anastasia.

And so after being on hiatus, I finally have enough time to continue blogging. I just got back to working, not to mention, on a very graveyard shift. LOL! Oh and with longer hours! I must admit that it was really exhausting. But as soon I got the hang of it, and also a big thanks to Yomi who helped me cope up with the changes. A lot of adjustments were done just for us to work. Insert all words synonymous with “TIRED” here. Those are the things we often feel, but because Yomi and I got no choice, we continue to strive harder for our little angel.

But after all the stress, that’s where our Anastasia comes in.She takes away all our discomforts in life. Amazing how she is able to do that by just simply smiling. Speaking of my cutie Anastasia…

Anastasia’s second and third month!

Time flies so fast and she is almost on her fourth month. Anastasia is growing even more beautiful everyday. She is starting to have her own habits. She is now able to sleep by herself and oftentimes we need not to carry her every now and then. She started to turn on the first week of her third month. She was struggling at first, and we cannot help but try to push her a little for her to be successful. But then, little by little she is now able to turn without any help nor assistance. She is able to lift her head and would often smile. She now likes to talk, her coocoo’s, all day all night. She is now taking 4oz of milk and sometimes would ask for more! She sleeps the longest during nightime and would be awake all day. In just two months, she’s able to achieve a lot of things! I couldn’t be more proud of my little Tasia.

Below our her photos during her second and third month:

 

Preggy diaries: FIRST TRIMESTER WITH BABY A.

I may be a first time mom, but I am really sure that the big day is about to happen days from now, if not then make it a week. I really don’t know what word will best decribe my journey with baby A inside my tummy. It was thrilling, tiring, full of surprises and a whole lot more. BEING A MOM IS SURREAL!

So before the big day comes, I would like to go back to the beginning of this journey. I will share my month to month experience with baby A.

FIRST TRIMESTER

(1st month)
My pregnancy was not really expected or thoroughly planned. So Yomi and I were really clueless that I was already conceiving baby A around February. Though there are slight signs then and since I do have irregular periods, it was really confusing that time. I was delayed on the month of February and already took pregnancy test. Result was NEGATIVE. It was really a relief for me. A lot of things have crossed my mind for I was not ready then. Besides, I still have a few months left ’til I finish my degree.

(2nd month)
It was this month (March) when I really felt a lot of signs of pregnancy. I am starting to gain weight, felt really tired the whole day even if I had hours of rest, felt like vomiting every time I eat, series of headaches and severe mood swings. And most of all, I still do not have my period. So I asked Yomi if we can have another test, unfortunately the second time I took the test, result was invalid. No lines at all on the pregnancy test so we decided to have another test a week after. And that was when I saw two lines on the test. I was dumbfounded that very moment. Thoughts such as how will my family react, can I really handle this, are we (Yomi and I) really ready for a little munchkin, will I be able to finish my degree on time, and a whole more. But as I told Yomi that the result was positive, a saw a huge smile on his face. A genuine smile. I know he really wanted to have his child long before we met and it was really a good news for him. That is where I got the strength to continue with this journey. I know he’s got my back with this. So to be very sure with the result, we went to a maternity clinic and got a confirmation of my pregnancy. And to our surprise, I was 8 weeks or 2 months then!

(3rd month)
And so as every preggy mom says “Struggle is real.” MOrning sickness was my nemesis during this period. I really had a hard time dealing with waking up feeling very nauseous. I lost my appetite. I had severe headaches that really made me cry. I have been reading blogs about pregnancy and it seems like I am having a not so smooth one. I am still not able to confide to my father, or to anyone else, even with my closest friends. I was really afraid of how will they react, specially with my parents. I was working on a nightshift post during this period and there was not a day I did not visit the clinic to rest for I can no longer endure the stress. Until Yomi and I decided to have my pre-natal check up and asked if she can advise me to leave from work until I surpass the first trimester. It is also the month of my graduation and I was really exhausted from work and school during these times. My tummy was starting to have a bump and I am really having a hard time trying to cover it so no one would see. There are times that I wished my father would just ask me about it so I don’t have to do such things but I really don’t have the courage that time. There are also medicines that I have to take but I also need to be cautious so my father will not see these medicines and ask about it. And as part of their graduation gift for me, they decided to take a trip to “Kamay ni Hesus”. I could not say no for they might have a hint of my pregnancy, so even if it was really exhausting, I still joined the trip. But I was a bit distant and was really timid all throughout the trip. I was thinking a lot of things and unconsciously talking to my little munchkin to hold on and we’ll surely get through this soon.

I really cannot imagine how will I be able to surpass all of these. But you will see as I we continue with my journey on my next blog post. One thing I really learned during these times was to never lose hope and always keep the faith. And always look on the positive side of everything.

‘Til my next blog! 🙂

keooo

Preggy diaries; lessons learned.

I am currently 37 weeks with my little munchkin and I am feeling that the big day is just around the corner! Too much feels as all moms say when you have reached this point.

Well for me, I am really EXCITED because finally I am going to see that tiny creature that’s been inside me, moving and kicking and not to mention ALWAYS HUNGRY (mommies out there, you sure know how it feels. haha). SCARED of the things that might happen during the delivery, the “beyond-words-can-say-pain” that I might experience, and of course the things unknown yet since I am a first time mom.

Good thing I have a lot of “mommy friends”  whom I can ask anytime. Upon them knowing that I am going to be a mom soon, they shared a lot of things they have learned with their experiences. Like the do’s and don’t’s when your preggy, even the things you have to buy or the must have’s. Aside from my friends, of course my family is always there. Specially my mom who is very excited (but doesn’t want to be called “lola”) by her first granddaughter with me. I think it’s also a good thing that since I am the eldest in our family, I have witnessed before how my mom prepared for her big day with my other siblings. And most of all, I have Yomi with me who is very optimistic and understanding. He never gets tired of hearing all of my endless worries, and even everyday rants. And would always cheer me up and share positive vibes with me. (when you are preggy, you’ll really have crazy hormones)

So for this post, I’d like to share some of the things I personally learned during my journey with our little munchkin.

1. NEVER miss any pre-natal check up with your OB.
I am very much guilty with this. because I have skipped some months of my pre-natal check up with my OB. Good thing my little munchkin is strong and healthy. But as I was nearing my due date, I made it a point to make time for my check up so I will be more than ready and prepared for the big day.

Supposedly, a preggy mom should see her OB every month. So that the mommy and the daddy as well will be able to know everything their baby needs. All the vaccines a mom should have, food that the mommy should eat and what to avoid as well. Also to know if there’s something wrong with the baby, which of course we all don’t want to happen. But don’t worry OB’s are there to help us take care of our baby.

Continue reading