I keep coming back to you!

Finally! I found the right moment, and the right words for me to start blogging again. I’d like to start by saying sorry for numerous times of being inactive, I am not happy about it, but I made sure to have used those times effectively and learn my lessons from it. I cannot wait anymore for me to share every single thing life has taught me lately. I do not want to promise anything as of the moment but I would really love for myself to commit into blogging as I felt the need to be an avenue of change and most importantly the things I have learned which I know can be of big help for first time of being a mother like me, even for young parents, and even for the millennial too!

I would like to start fresh with my blogging page, and I plan to have a system which will make this page more organized. Just to give you guys a little update (which I will be sharing more on my next post) I am now a stay-at-home-mom and also working full time at home. Imagine the things I need to juggle just so I could do everything in a day. But hey, I ain’t complaining! This is somewhat a good stress for me. I feel so elated being productive and at the same time I consider these things an achievement or more like goals unlocked!

So much for my come-back post, here are some of the changes you will be seeing on my page mving forward:

* I plan to change the tags I am currently using, also for me to categorize easily the blogs I will be posting soon

* We will be having blogs about:
– Motherhood / Parenting
– Millennials’ hot topic
– Book reviews
– And how to… (Where I plan to discuss anything under the sun, so I’ll be more than glad to answer any of your questions, or blog about suggested topics you have!)
– Lastly, I will be blogging about what I learned or my takeaways for each and every coming weeks which will be posted every Sunday.
So there! It may not be much but I believe it is a good start for me to be back with my game and to finally extract those creative juices left in me!

On my next blog, I will be telling you the real reason as to why I was on a brief hiatus from blogging. Please do know I am beyond grateful for having the chance again to blog, trust in me when I say I will not have this opportunity put into waste.
I hope to see you on my next blog! Take care! πŸ™‚
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Is it really okay not to be okay?

I am pretty sure everyone may have heard or read these words “It is okay not to be okay” from somewhere. Cliche as it may be but it is really true!

We all have our fair share of struggles, anxieties, challenges we are yet to overcome, and a lot more in our lives. There may be times you wanted to just run away, or escape from everything just for a while. Lucky you, if you can, and you’ve got tons of time to spare. And for those who can’t, come sit with me, and let us discuss this over a cup of coffee. Oh, wait! Make it cups! πŸ˜‰

When I was still studying, I was a bit of idealistic on how to deal with specific matters. For instance, I was so used to organizing things and making sure that everything is on schedule. But, of course life is never perfect! There will be times where I need to be working on a project on a such short notice and not to mention with a deadline.

There goes my rattled self. Overthinking. Underestimating myself. And even thinking of failing already without even starting anything yet. And so I started procrastinating.

Then I started working. Sure, it is a fact that my employer would be expecting the best from me (mainly why they hired me, right?) This time, I’m not dealing with my grades anymore, I now got a scorecard I need to pass or else, my employment is at stake. And there goes my idealistic way of handling things. I am trying so hard to meet and exceed expectations. As for me, those are my only chances of succeeding. And of course, there has come a time that I failed to hit the target, passed my scorecard for a month. And that hits me big time! I got demotivated. Judged myself! I even think of quitting just because I consider myself not fit anymore for the job.

Moving on to next phase of my life, I became a mother. Since I was a bit young when I became one, I still have to deal on knowing the things I want, over the things I needed to prioritize first. I wanted to pursue the degree I’ve finished, work and spend time on things I love doing. Basically, fulfilling my passion, and following my dreams. Too bad the circumstances won’t allow me. I needed a job that would fit into my schedule as a mom, and most importantly will help with our financial needs. Not only determining what career path must I take was difficult for me, it is also the choice I have to make on whether I needed to stay at home and be with my daughter as she grows up, or be more practical and have a job that will support her needs.

These are the things I once thought easy to deal with. Things I thought I could make a decision right away. Until it all happened to me. I thought I have my life perfectly planned. I thought writing down things on my planner will make my life be organized, smooth and seamless.

Ladies, mommas, and everyone out there reading this, I hope you all understand what I am pointing at. There are times, instances, in our lives where we do not have a say of how it should be happening. You cannot always expect things will turn out as you planned. Sure it is good that you’ve got your whole life planned ahead, but always consider of having alternatives.

I once read this from a Facebook post my mom tagged me:

“People around you might seem to go ahead of you, some might seem to be behind you.

But everyone is running their own RACE, in their own TIME. Don’t envy them or mock them. They are in their TIME ZONE, and you are in yours! Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.

So, RELAX. You’re not LATE. You’re not EARLY. You are very much ON TIME, and in your TIME ZONE Destiny set up for you.”

So if you’re not doing okay as of the moment, I hope this helped. Even just for a little. πŸ™‚

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Mama says “No.”

Have you ever been invited over to parties, post shift eat out’s, or a simple get together with college friends? And yet you cannot come, simply because you have a little munchkin waiting for you to come home. Take note on the fact as well that you used to go on these gatherings before without thinking twice.

And just because you cannot join, you are now “the boring one”. “The kill joy” on the group, and or worst, you may be called “the anti-social earthling“.

My answer to the first question? Yes, I have! And have been sayingΒ  “No.” countless time as of the moment.

Let me share you our side of our story.

Friends, if you are to ask what our minds thought first…

We thought of saying “Yes, I’ll go!” and then minutes after we think of so many things that needs to be done instead of joining. Things such as:

  • What time will I get home if I go with them?
  • Who will look after my munchkin if I joined them?
  • Will I have enough time to finish chores after joining them?
  • Do I have enough supplies at home for my munchkin?
  • Will spending even just a little will affect our finances?
  • Will I get enough rest if I join them as I still have to look after and take care of my munchkin as I get home?

You see? And those are just some of the things from our very long list that we consider before joining.Β  And that is why we end up saying “No.”

So, please don’t get us wrong! We do not want a boring life too, however, we just had to weigh our priorities now. Being a mother would require more than 24 hours in a day to finish everything that needs to be done. So we’d rather spend, if there are any, extra time, minutes, or even seconds at home, probably resting to gain more energy for other tasks we have to finish.

Know that we do not intend to kill the good vibes. Or the fun of joining the gathering. In 7 days in a week, us, mothers get to spend their day based on one routine only. Because that’s how we can keep up with a lot of things at home and at work (if you have one). So if there is anyone who would most likely to have fun, it would be us! We definitely wouldn’t want to say “No.” for chances like these. We just really had to.

And also, we are not introverts nor anti-social earthlings. A lot can happen in a day of being a mother. It’s like a roller coaster ride. Everyday, we get to experience a lot of things, and mind you that not all of these are the good or fun ones. So, yes! We thought of really joining at first as we needed a sweet escape too from the reality. We needed people we can talk with about our endless rants, mommy experiences, and trust me, we’ve got a whole lot of topics we’d like to talk over if given a chance. But it simply doesn’t work that way.Β  We tend to keep those to ourselves as we know and understand that not everyone would be fond of the experiences, or the milestones of my munchkin had that I will share. Not everyone will understand us, or see things the way we see it. Not everyone will truly listen as we confide how challenging being a mother is. Though, it’s not bad at all if we have few friends that would really want listen to these whole mommy experience we have.

I am not complaining. Nor wishing things would be different. This is just our side of the story and know that not all mothers have the same dilemma, still we hope for everyone’s understanding. Lucky for some if this is not how things are for them, be grateful as you were given the luxury of time.

I am just 22 years old, and I must admit that I truly struggle whenever I weigh my priorities. A part of me says I needed to go home as early as I can as it wouldn’t be fair if I let someone take care of my munchkin while I have fun, and a part of me too says I needed sometime for myself too. Yes it is true, and everyone needs it too. It’s just that I cannot always say “Yes.” to these chances of having my “me-time”.

I never knew how challenging it is to be a parent. Because I am somewhat in the middle of choosing my wants over my needs, and I guess it’s part of my own journey. I may be a young mom and has a lot of things to learn more compared to other mommies, but I know I will be better in time.

 

So, cheers for us, beautiful mommies! You are doing great! You are making the right choice. May it be to say “Yes!” or “No!”.

 

Love,

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Welcome, 2018!

And so I am back, for the nth time from being on hiatus mode here! Nevertheless, join me as I welcome 2018 with a bang!

Wonderin’ what’s with the bang?

I am finally collaborating my blogsite with my very own Youtube channel! Yaaay!

Which leads me to telling you guys, that the following posts you will read here on my page will also be the same content that I will be putting up on my channel. I am so thrilled with this new project and hopefully I get to be consistent with my uploads provided my very unpredictable yet kinda weird work schedule.

You might be thinking what ran into my mind that I suddenly pushed myself into doing these things.

I have always wanted to share my thoughts with everyone and somehow help them with whatever they may be going through that I was able to surpass somehow.

Not everyone knows, but sometimes it feels so good to know that you are not the only one in your situation. That you are not alone in your journey. And that you have an amazing support system aside from your family and loved ones!

And I am thinking that creating a blog site and a Youtube channel would be the perfect avenue for me to achieve my purpose in life.

And this wouldn’t be possible without you, guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

 

‘Til my next blog!!! Happy new year, everyone!

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What it’s like to be a young mother?

I always thought of what it’s like to be a mother? Like, is it really that difficult? To the extent that you have to make sacrifices. Oh, and not to mention, things I have been always hearing from my mom. And then I had my little sister. I was the eldest child in the family so I am expected to help my parents in taking care of my little sister. I was really hands-on with her. I learned basic things in taking care of an infant. Say for example, her cues when she was hungry, or when she’s sleepy and all those. I was with all through out her growing up years. Basically, I had an idea of what it’s like to be a mother because I thought it’s simple as what I did with taking care of my little sister. And then the time came where I had to work and earn to support my studies and to help in the finances of my family. I thought a little sacrifice of my sleep and time could go a long way. But, really, there are things you wouldn’t understand until you are in the same position.

So, I guess were all set, and let me share with you my journey as a mother!

I believe it all started when I saw a straight line and another faint line on that pregnancy test! I cannot explain what I felt during that moment when I saw the results. Though there were signs already. Like, I’ve been missing my periods, I am gaining unusual weight, I was always dizzy, I get tired easily and I just wanted to sleep all day. Then those lines just answered all the questions I had in my mind. But, of course, since it was all unexpected, there was a part in me that was saying that I hope that faint line doesn’t really mean that I am pregnant. I was already thinking of my parents’ reaction that moment, I was in tears while holding the pregnancy test kit. And then I stood up, hurriedly went back to Yomi’s room, and showed him the result. He was extremely happy that he was smiling all day. I do love him so much that somehow, I almost forgot the things I am worried about when I saw how happy he was. He gave me reassurance that he will not leave me, that I will not face everything alone, because we are going to do it all together! I did not tell him the things I was so worried and scared of. I just don’t want to lose that smile he has that day.

Then after a few months, I tried to live normal specially I haven’t told my father yet about the news. That time, my mom was in the UK because she had to work for to help in our finances and also she was fixing our dual citizenship too. Everyday was really a struggle for me. I had to wear loose clothes so that my father wouldn’t notice my tiny baby bump that time. Though there were times when my little brother would see my tummy when I was dressing up then he would make fun of it and would say “baby tummy?!” Like he was asking if there was a baby in my tummy. It freaked me out because that could give my father an idea! But I think he did not hear those things, or at least I thought. To add with my struggles, I had to not think of myself only anymore, I had to be careful with what I am eating, and I had to take my vitamins, and not to mention, I really don’t know how I can take those without my father seeing it. Then of course, I had those usual pregnant cravings. There were times that I was really on the verge of crying because if I am at home with my father, I had to be careful in asking those snacks I am craving because of course he would notice it.

Then the time came when my father confronted me and asked me what my problem was. I was clueless and was hoping that he was not referring about my pregnancy, but he knew already. He asked me who the father was and so I told him everything. Then he asked Yomi to come over to our house that time to talk about his plans. After they talked, my father did not speak with me the whole day. I knew my pregnancy hurt him. He was more concerned of what will my mother feel when she hears the news. Weeks passed, and I guess he already accepted it and he was already asking what fruits I was craving. Food that I want and would let me rest when he felt I was really tired. He told me I had to tell my mom the soonest, and that’s what I did. I called my mom on Facebook messenger, and told her everything. I was expecting harsh words from her, and that she would shout at me, I even thought that after I told her, she wouldn’t want to speak with me for a while. But none of those happened. On a very calm voice, she told me how I am coping up with things. I can hear her voice cracking and I knew she was crying while she was talking with me. She just said, she felt about it and before I even say the words, she already knew it.

Then everything went a little normal compared to the past few months after everyone in my family knew about my pregnancy. My baby bump was starting to show that time, and I can already feel my baby moving inside me. Let’s move forward to the moment when I gave birth.

I can remember that I was in so much pain that no words can suffice to describe it when I was in labor, and true to what every mothers were saying, you would forget those pain and discomforts once you saw your baby. I can still remember the feeling when I first saw her. I was still unable to sit for it was really still painful, but I couldn’t really explain that magical feeling. All I knew was that she needed me, and that I had to attend to her needs already. I can’t explain where I got the strength that time. And then I was able to finally sit, and carry her in my arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, she was beautiful, I can’t help it. Tears fell, but I am sure that it was tears of so much joy and all I can think of that time was the love I already have for her.

Being a mother at my age was really not easy. As you know, I am just 20 years old when I had her, and I just finished my degree that time. As what I have researched, I am included in what they call “Young Adult” stage. It is where an individual normally yearns so much in life. In my case, I wanted to achieve things specially in my career, I wanted to have adventures like what my friends had. To make it short, and to tell everyone honestly, I was longing for more than what I have. I was envy with my friends for they could do anything, anywhere and every time. I had to be away with my family too. I was a bit depressed at some point my life. I was always thinking the things I could have if I did not get pregnant at an early age. I would cry often when I started missing my family, and when I think of things I no longer have because of being a mother. I was so harsh that I blame myself everyday. But it came to an end when I got tired of crying and blaming things to myself.

I have so much to experience yet with this journey of motherhood, but one thing I am certain of, is that I do not regret the repercussions of my actions before. I do not regret having my Anastasia, and I do not mind sacrificing almost everything for her, all I have in my mind right now is to give her a future she deserves. If it means of me giving up things I really want and need, I would not have second thoughts of doing it. I actually learned so much with the start of this journey. I also get to know myself more and was actually amazed of the things I thought I couldn’t do but of course, I was able to.

To all young mothers who are reading this post, I hope you draw some strength from this and I hope I somehow inspired you. It is not yet the end of the world for us. We have so much time for all our goals and ain’t it fun to achieve things together with our little munchkins?

Shoot me a message if you feel alone, or if you want to talk about these things. I’ll be very glad to listen and help you.

Til my next blog post!!!

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Begin again…

After several times of being on hiatus, I finally came up with a more organized theme that I really want for this blog. I felt the need to take a break from blogging. I even had my break in editing my vlogs. I have so much struggle in looking for an inspiration and organizing all the ideas that I would love to put on my blog. However, I just cannot decide in those few months that I was on hiatus, on whether what to share. As you can see, my blog posts were all about my motherhood experiences. But I felt that I need to share more than that. So instead of focusing this blog with my experiences as a mother, I have finally decided to share things I have learned before, may it be about love, or what not, anything about life actually. There! I can assure everyone that I can now write more often and that I can finally begin again.

 

The next blog posts will be categorized under “What it’s like…” with hashtags: #personal #life #keoramos

 

I cannot wait to be back on track again! If you happen to read this blog, I really thank you for still reading my posts despite of everything, and if you happened to read this post of mine for the first time, I will be more than happy to somehow inspire and share with you things that actually made my life better.

 

And finally, my lovely readers, just shoot me a message on things that you would like me to write a blog post about, or if you have any feedback, comment or what not, feel free to leave one!

 

Until my next blog, earthlings! πŸ™‚

 

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Welcome 2017!!!

Before anything else, I would like to greet everyone a Happy New Year! I hope we were all able to start and welcome 2017 with our loving family and dear friends.

This blog post is more about my holiday experience. Exactly two days before Christmas, I was admitted to the hospital for I was experiencing so much pain on my lower back, specifically on my tail bone. I got on and off fever, and I just can’t take anymore the pain that day. Yomi and I thought that it was just a normal boil, but then I was diagnosed of having a Pilonidal Cyst.

Yep, that is also the first time we heard of such case. And so I looked up on it on the internet, and here is what I found out:

Link:Β All About Pilonidal Cyst

“There’s a type of cyst you can get at the bottom of your tailbone, or coccyx. It’s called a pilonidal cyst, and it can become infected and filled with pus. Once infected, the technical term is β€œpilonidal abscess,” and it can be painful.

It looks like a large pimple at the bottom of your tailbone. It is more common in men than in women. It usually happens more often in younger people.

People who sit a lot, such as truck drivers, have a higher chance of getting one.”

To know more about my condition, like the causes, possible prevention and cure, click the link above for more information.

But true to it’s definition, it is really painful. My surgeon said that my pilonidal cyst was congenital and that unknowingly, I let it grow inside me. And now that it was infected, my surgeon had a hard time in removing the cyst, but of course, he was able to!

Just to share the whole process, I have to be admitted in the hospital for 5 days. That includes the surgery and minor healing process. The surgery took 3 hours, and I did not feet anything because I was given an anesthesia on my spine. (Like epidural, for mother who gave birth). Then as I woke up after the surgery, I felt nauseous. The nurse said it was normal because the anesthesia is already wearing off. After that, I freaked out a little when I saw a tube connected inside me. The nurse told me that it is for drainage purposes. It was really difficult on the first day after the surgery. I can barely sleep because of the pain, though they were giving me pain relievers, but sometimes it does not work that fast. And not to mention, I had to sleep with only one position, I had to lay my back flat to the bed. I did try to change position, like sleeping sideward but it is just painful to move. It took me two days before I can finally stand and sit. But not too long.

And that is how I spend my Christmas and our 2nd year anniversary. It may be a bit despairing way of celebrating the Christmas, but of course, I still consider myself blessed for at least somehow, the operation was successful, and not to mention, I did not spend so much with my whole stay in the hospital because it was mostly covered by my health card.

By December 27, I was already advised that I can go home. I was told that I needed a full bed rest. And that’s what I did. I just saved my energy so at least I can celebrate New Year with my family.

Below are some pictures of how we celebrated NEW YEAR 2017!!!

 

 

keooo