Have you ever been invited over to parties, post shift eat out’s, or a simple get together with college friends? And yet you cannot come, simply because you have a little munchkin waiting for you to come home. Take note on the fact as well that you used to go on these gatherings before without thinking twice.
And just because you cannot join, you are now “the boring one”. “The kill joy” on the group, and or worst, you may be called “the anti-social earthling“.
My answer to the first question? Yes, I have! And have been saying “No.” countless time as of the moment.
Let me share you our side of our story.
Friends, if you are to ask what our minds thought first…
We thought of saying “Yes, I’ll go!” and then minutes after we think of so many things that needs to be done instead of joining. Things such as:
- What time will I get home if I go with them?
- Who will look after my munchkin if I joined them?
- Will I have enough time to finish chores after joining them?
- Do I have enough supplies at home for my munchkin?
- Will spending even just a little will affect our finances?
- Will I get enough rest if I join them as I still have to look after and take care of my munchkin as I get home?
You see? And those are just some of the things from our very long list that we consider before joining. And that is why we end up saying “No.”
So, please don’t get us wrong! We do not want a boring life too, however, we just had to weigh our priorities now. Being a mother would require more than 24 hours in a day to finish everything that needs to be done. So we’d rather spend, if there are any, extra time, minutes, or even seconds at home, probably resting to gain more energy for other tasks we have to finish.
Know that we do not intend to kill the good vibes. Or the fun of joining the gathering. In 7 days in a week, us, mothers get to spend their day based on one routine only. Because that’s how we can keep up with a lot of things at home and at work (if you have one). So if there is anyone who would most likely to have fun, it would be us! We definitely wouldn’t want to say “No.” for chances like these. We just really had to.
And also, we are not introverts nor anti-social earthlings. A lot can happen in a day of being a mother. It’s like a roller coaster ride. Everyday, we get to experience a lot of things, and mind you that not all of these are the good or fun ones. So, yes! We thought of really joining at first as we needed a sweet escape too from the reality. We needed people we can talk with about our endless rants, mommy experiences, and trust me, we’ve got a whole lot of topics we’d like to talk over if given a chance. But it simply doesn’t work that way. We tend to keep those to ourselves as we know and understand that not everyone would be fond of the experiences, or the milestones of my munchkin had that I will share. Not everyone will understand us, or see things the way we see it. Not everyone will truly listen as we confide how challenging being a mother is. Though, it’s not bad at all if we have few friends that would really want listen to these whole mommy experience we have.
I am not complaining. Nor wishing things would be different. This is just our side of the story and know that not all mothers have the same dilemma, still we hope for everyone’s understanding. Lucky for some if this is not how things are for them, be grateful as you were given the luxury of time.
I am just 22 years old, and I must admit that I truly struggle whenever I weigh my priorities. A part of me says I needed to go home as early as I can as it wouldn’t be fair if I let someone take care of my munchkin while I have fun, and a part of me too says I needed sometime for myself too. Yes it is true, and everyone needs it too. It’s just that I cannot always say “Yes.” to these chances of having my “me-time”.
I never knew how challenging it is to be a parent. Because I am somewhat in the middle of choosing my wants over my needs, and I guess it’s part of my own journey. I may be a young mom and has a lot of things to learn more compared to other mommies, but I know I will be better in time.
So, cheers for us, beautiful mommies! You are doing great! You are making the right choice. May it be to say “Yes!” or “No!”.