I have been thinking of things to blog, I have so much ideas, my thoughts are overflowing but I am not able to organize them. So please excuse me for being on hiatus, which I think will happen a bit often because my leave is almost over, as much as I wanted to stay at home and take care of my Anastasia, I also really have to return to work.
So these past few days, I have been reminiscing a lot and suddenly faced with this question…
First thing that came into my mind were my “what if’s?” and then I find myself answering those too.
Here are my “what if’s?”
- What if I did follow my curfew?
- What if I did study harder and aimed to finish college with flying colors?
- What if I did not work while studying?
- What if I did not have much social life back in college?
- What if I chose to listen and obey everything my parents told me?
And so I also find myself answering these:
- If I did follow my curfew then I would be at home early, would have more time with my siblings, would not procrastinate with deadlines I have to meet and would have enough rest. BUT still, I cannot deny the fact that I did enjoy those times I went home late just to spend more time with my friends, doing extra-curricular activities and simply wandering alone.
- If I did study harder, then I would have higher average and I can also finish college with flying colors just like my block mates. BUT I cannot be so hard with myself. Considering that I help my sister study (take note, this is on a daily basis), I also worked while studying during my senior year, and still able to maintain my grades and did not fail any subject, I guess with what I have achieved, I am very much fulfilled and proud!
- If I did not work while studying then just like following my curfew, I would be able to have more time to do things and would be able to focus a lot. BUT I must admit that working while studying was never an easy thing to do. I dealt with serious time management, felt tired every now and then that sometimes 12 hours of sleep was still not enough and I cannot focus on things. Having experienced all of these, I still have no regret of making the decision to work. I learned to be independent because I cannot expect everyone to always be there to help with things. I learned to value time, and realized how precious every single second of my life. And I learned how to prioritize important matters.
- If I did not have social life I had back then I wouldn’t enjoy college as much as I did. I will not be able to step out of my comfort zone. And most of all, I wouldn’t meet people whom I have never thought would be there with me through thick and thin.
- If I chose to follow everything my parents told me, then they will be more than glad that I have a good life the way they wanted it. BUT even though I may have not obeyed them often and would stick with whatever decision I have, I know for a fact that I can still make them proud and happy for me. I may be far from my them but they never fail to make me feel loved and have always supported me with whatever I do.
And I am very grateful that the path I chose led me to Yomi. He’s one of the reasons why I love my life so much. I am lucky to meet his very loving family. And above all the things that he gave me, I am very blessed to have Anastasia. Now I can clearly see my purpose in life.
For the very first time in my 20 years of existence, I was not able to spend the holiday season with my family. It is heartbreaking, I must say. But Yomi and his family did not make me feel like I’m an outcast with them and it made me feel better.
I am never a fan of drastic changes in life. Because I find it so difficult to cope up. But this experience taught me to embrace the changes and learned that acceptance will always be the key to happiness!
So cheers to a year full of dreams to make, goals to achieve and happiness that will forever be with us.