365 days with Yomi.

Yomi and I just celebrated our first year anniversary last December 25. Yes, same day as Christmas! So we really have a lot to celebrate on that day. But because we have now our little munchkin Anastasia, we were not able to celebrate our  anniversary the way we wanted it. I was thinking the whole day on how we can at least make the day special without doing something grand or going out, then I just ended up reminiscing our moments together and realized how lucky and blessed I am to have him.

My mom once said that I need to find a man who’s like my father. Someone who’s very selfless, patient and who will truly love me for who I am. And I think I already have that someone. And I guess, my parents can already see that too.

If I were to describe Yomi in two words, it’s TRUE LOVE.

I have brought life to our little angel at an early age. Considering all the responsibilities I now have, there are also times where I miss doing things I used to do before. And things I planned to do after I finish college. I also needed to be away from my family for a while for me to take care of our Anastasia.

So I was overwhelmed with how things were going. I was really scared going out of my comfort zone. I feel like I am going to be a failure specially with my responsibilities as a mother. Everyday felt like a serious challenge for me, it’s like I am in a battlefield. It was very difficult for me to cope up with drastic changes and adjustment. Most of the time, I felt depressed and just wanted to run away from everything. It’s tiring when you have to face the same kind of stress everyday. And patience was never my strong suit. I also have terrible mood swings. Like for a moment, I can be very giddy and cheerful and can switch to solitude in just a second. I also get irritated easily, worry too much and overthink very often. That is how I’ve been lately.

But with Yomi’s true love for me, little by little, I am starting to see things from a different perspective. Yomi’s my total opposite. He’s very passive, positive in everything, selfless, and talk about his very long patience and understanding! Whenever we have our misunderstandings, he usually says sorry right away just not to prolong the argument. One time, I asked him why would he always apologize even if he knows it’s not his fault. He said that ‘he would rather lose a fight with me and let down his pride than to lose me at all.’ 

I was very speechless with his answer and made me realize things. He’s never a fan of heated argument so he deal things with a very relaxed and calm or I must say in a very mature way. And it really solves things, compared with how I handle things.

Oftentimes, I wanted to give up everything and push people away from me because I think that they will never understand what I am going through. But Yomi never got tired of showing his love for me. He never failed to remind that he is always there for me. He would always say that he wants me happy and that he’ll do everything for me. In times I wanted to run away from everything, he would just then hold me close and would tell me that I am never alone with this battle. That I need to be strong for him and Anastasia. And despite my mind blowing mood swings, he still chose to stay and love me.

I must have done something very good at some point in my life to have and deserve him. The things written here may be too good to be true, but know that I am used to writing sad and happy thoughts back then with my former blog, so every single detail I’ve put here were all true.

We wouldn’t reach this far if not for his patience and understanding and most of all his true love.

I really am right in choosing Yomi because with him I become the best possible version of myself.

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Embracing changes.

I have been thinking of things to blog, I have so much ideas, my thoughts are overflowing but I am not able to organize them. So please excuse me for being on hiatus, which I think will happen a bit often because my leave is almost over, as much as I wanted to stay at home and take care of my Anastasia, I also really have to return to work.

So these past few days, I have been reminiscing a lot and suddenly faced with this question…

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First thing that came into my mind were my “what if’s?” and then I find myself answering those too.

Here are my “what if’s?”

  1. What if I did follow my curfew?
  2. What if I did study harder and aimed to finish college with flying colors?
  3. What if I did not work while studying?
  4. What if I did not have much social life back in college?
  5. What if I chose to listen and obey everything my parents told me?

And so I also find myself answering these:

  1. If I did follow my curfew then I would be at home early, would have more time with my siblings, would not procrastinate with deadlines I have to meet and would have enough rest. BUT still, I cannot deny the fact that I did enjoy those times I went home late just to spend more time with my friends, doing extra-curricular activities and simply wandering alone.
  2. If I did study harder, then I would have higher average and I can also finish college with flying colors just like my block mates. BUT I cannot be so hard with myself. Considering that I help my sister study (take note, this is on a daily basis), I also worked while studying during my senior year, and still able to maintain my grades and did not fail any subject, I guess with what I have achieved, I am very much fulfilled and proud!
  3. If I did not work while studying then just like following my curfew, I would be able to have more time to do things and would be able to focus a lot. BUT I must admit that working while studying was never an easy thing to do. I dealt with serious time management, felt tired every now and then that sometimes 12 hours of sleep was still not enough and I cannot focus on things. Having experienced all of these, I still have no regret of making the decision to work. I learned to be independent because I cannot expect everyone to always be there to help with things. I learned to value time, and realized how precious every single second of my life. And I learned how to prioritize important matters.
  4. If I did not have social life I had back  then I wouldn’t enjoy college as much as I did. I will not be able to step out of my comfort zone. And most of all, I wouldn’t meet people whom I have never thought would be there with me through thick and thin.
  5. If I chose to follow everything my parents told me, then they will be more than glad that I have a good life the way they wanted it. BUT even though I may have not obeyed them often and would stick with whatever decision I have, I know for a fact that I can still make them proud and happy for me. I may be far from my them but they never fail to make me feel loved and have always supported me with whatever I do.

 

And I am very grateful that the path I chose led me to Yomi. He’s one of the reasons why I love my life so much. I am lucky to meet his very loving family. And above all the things that he gave me, I am very blessed to have Anastasia. Now I can clearly see my purpose in life.

For the very first time in my 20 years of existence, I was not able to spend the holiday season with my family. It is heartbreaking, I must say. But Yomi and his family did not make me feel like I’m an outcast with them and it made me feel better.

I am never a fan of drastic changes in life. Because  I find it so difficult to cope up. But this experience taught me to embrace the changes and learned that acceptance will always be the key to happiness!

 So cheers to a year full of dreams to make, goals to achieve and happiness that will forever be with us.

 

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This is Yomi’s very loving and happy family. 🙂
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This is my family in Cavite. 🙂 My grandparents with my cousins.
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This is my family in the UK. That’s my mom, dad, Kelly and Mikel (my siblings). 🙂
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And of course my own little family. My life, Yomi and Anastasia. 🙂

 

keooo