I may be a first time mom, but I am really sure that the big day is about to happen days from now, if not then make it a week. I really don’t know what word will best decribe my journey with baby A inside my tummy. It was thrilling, tiring, full of surprises and a whole lot more. BEING A MOM IS SURREAL!
So before the big day comes, I would like to go back to the beginning of this journey. I will share my month to month experience with baby A.
My pregnancy was not really expected or thoroughly planned. So Yomi and I were really clueless that I was already conceiving baby A around February. Though there are slight signs then and since I do have irregular periods, it was really confusing that time. I was delayed on the month of February and already took pregnancy test. Result was NEGATIVE. It was really a relief for me. A lot of things have crossed my mind for I was not ready then. Besides, I still have a few months left ’til I finish my degree.
It was this month (March) when I really felt a lot of signs of pregnancy. I am starting to gain weight, felt really tired the whole day even if I had hours of rest, felt like vomiting every time I eat, series of headaches and severe mood swings. And most of all, I still do not have my period. So I asked Yomi if we can have another test, unfortunately the second time I took the test, result was invalid. No lines at all on the pregnancy test so we decided to have another test a week after. And that was when I saw two lines on the test. I was dumbfounded that very moment. Thoughts such as how will my family react, can I really handle this, are we (Yomi and I) really ready for a little munchkin, will I be able to finish my degree on time, and a whole more. But as I told Yomi that the result was positive, a saw a huge smile on his face. A genuine smile. I know he really wanted to have his child long before we met and it was really a good news for him. That is where I got the strength to continue with this journey. I know he’s got my back with this. So to be very sure with the result, we went to a maternity clinic and got a confirmation of my pregnancy. And to our surprise, I was 8 weeks or 2 months then!
And so as every preggy mom says “Struggle is real.” MOrning sickness was my nemesis during this period. I really had a hard time dealing with waking up feeling very nauseous. I lost my appetite. I had severe headaches that really made me cry. I have been reading blogs about pregnancy and it seems like I am having a not so smooth one. I am still not able to confide to my father, or to anyone else, even with my closest friends. I was really afraid of how will they react, specially with my parents. I was working on a nightshift post during this period and there was not a day I did not visit the clinic to rest for I can no longer endure the stress. Until Yomi and I decided to have my pre-natal check up and asked if she can advise me to leave from work until I surpass the first trimester. It is also the month of my graduation and I was really exhausted from work and school during these times. My tummy was starting to have a bump and I am really having a hard time trying to cover it so no one would see. There are times that I wished my father would just ask me about it so I don’t have to do such things but I really don’t have the courage that time. There are also medicines that I have to take but I also need to be cautious so my father will not see these medicines and ask about it. And as part of their graduation gift for me, they decided to take a trip to “Kamay ni Hesus”. I could not say no for they might have a hint of my pregnancy, so even if it was really exhausting, I still joined the trip. But I was a bit distant and was really timid all throughout the trip. I was thinking a lot of things and unconsciously talking to my little munchkin to hold on and we’ll surely get through this soon.
I really cannot imagine how will I be able to surpass all of these. But you will see as I we continue with my journey on my next blog post. One thing I really learned during these times was to never lose hope and always keep the faith. And always look on the positive side of everything.
‘Til my next blog! 🙂